When my husband and I first got married we struggled
to have a baby. I had 3 miscarriages in 2 years and I was absolutely
devastated. The third one was extremely hard for us. I lost my baby boy at 3
1/2 months along, and it was a very traumatic ordeal. I was depressed and
wouldn't get out of bed most days. My husband had been trying to take me to
the doctor for antidepressants, and I refused to go. I just remember feeling
like there was a dark cloud all around me. I remember thinking that if my
babies couldn't live then I didn't want to either, I just wanted to be with
them. I like to think that I wouldn't have done anything drastic, but I have
to admit that the thought did cross my mind.
One day I just cried out to God for help, one little
word..."help". I told him I was sorry for being angry, and that I didn't
want to be angry anymore but I needed help. I still didn't understand, and I
still had lots of negative feelings but I "felt" God telling me that
everything would be okay. I remember the words going through my head, "go to
sleep and rest, I will take care of everything."
I went off to sleep and I dreamed of Jesus sitting by
my bed, just watching over me. I can't describe the peace I felt that day.
When I woke up, I felt God telling me to go with my husband to the doctor. I
was given medication and I started undergoing fertility tests. I was getting
blood work done, and they found something interesting ...I was pregnant
again! I was devastated at first because I knew another loss would destroy
me. But God was with me and I didn't have a single problem during my
pregnancy. Today I have a beautiful 3 year old son and I thank God everyday
for my little miracle.
Alicia Watts - Kentucky
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