(Dear reader.  I don't usually post stories in their entirety but shorten them for readability.  However, this story is so important, I have left it as I received it. Be blessed! Sharon)

March 17, 2002 was a day to celebrate for our family. As I sat in my hospital bed holding our new baby, Lilli-Faith, in my arms, I had to praise God for one more blessing. Matt and I named her after the verse that had become a motto for our lives, II Corinthians 5:7, “For We Walk By Faith, Not By Sight.” Lilli-Faith’s birth was just one more sign that God still has blessings in store for us, that He can make beauty for our ashes (Isaiah 61:3). It had been a long, painful and difficult journey to this joyous moment, but Faith’s birth reminded me again that God is the God of forgiveness, the God of grace, and the God of new beginnings. Before I can tell you all the other wonderful things God is doing in our lives, I have to tell you about the painful past that preceded the victories. It is a disturbing story to tell and to hear, yet my hopes are you can see that it is truly a love story, about a woman, a man and the God who brought them together for His glory.

 I was born in Dover, Delaware to Tom & Carol. My dad left when I was just an infant. My mom soon remarried, but he also left us when I was about six years old. When I turned ten my mom remarried for a third time; that marriage lasted less than a year. She left me with #3 while she moved to Florida to make arrangements for us. I was only supposed to stay with #3 for one month so she could get settled and I can remember calling her after a week, sobbing for her to send for me. The day I arrived in Florida mom picked me up at the airport with the man who would become her fourth husband, John.

 Mom and John became Christians during my teenage years and they are still married today. God had a plan for my mom and it was John. I thank God for bringing John into not only my mom’s life by mine as well. However, my difficult childhood had scarred me that I was distrusting and very confused about love. Although mom & John attended church, I did not and when I did go, it was forced. By the time I was seventeen my relationship with them was very strained and I was told to move out. I moved in with my boyfriend’s parents so that I could finish high school. With the absence of role models I unfortunately followed in my mom’s footsteps and began a series of bad relationships with men.

 In 1991 I moved to Tennessee. I met Matt, at a bar, through an acquaintance and we became instant friends. Matt was a Christian, but at the time he was not living a Christian life. Matt had just come out of the Marines Corps and we spent our time together partying and drinking. Matt and I married on June 2, 1995. We came to Bayside for the “holiday services” but on July 7, 1996 I finally accepted Christ...although I still continued to party. In the beginning I really thought...Yes I love Jesus, and I’m not doing anything wrong by going clubbing. But that didn’t last long; I tired of it and decided I really need to be a mother to Jordan. I look back now and I think the true reason is that I was beginning to listen to God’s pleading to come back to Him. Matt, however, was not interested in quitting the party scene, and this began the rift in our relationship. Possibly to ease their own guilty consciousness, Matt’s so called friends began to plant seeds of doubt in his mind about my faithfulness to him. They ragged him so badly about me (and the devil fed off from that) that he came home one night in a rage. At this time we lived in a duplex and thank God the neighbors called the police.

 At this point Matt knew he had a problem, but his Marine training told him he was self-sufficient and could do anything. It was a sign of weakness to ask for help. He especially did not want his Christian parents to know he had a problem for the fear of disappointing them. Being a Christian Matt felt tremendous guilt for his rebellion and inability to quit drinking. But, instead of getting help, things got worse. What happened next was probably inevitable.

 On June 14, 1999, Matt came home in a drunk & drug induced rage (luckily at this time Jordan was out of town). He came into our bedroom where I was asleep and pulled the shotgun out of the closet and pointed it at my head. I sat for a second thinking this is it, but then decided to fight back. I managed to shove Matt and the shotgun towards the wall (where the gun went off). As we struggled for the gun, I began making my way to get out of the house. I was able to get out into the yard and Matt and I were still both tugging for the shot gun. Knowing that a shot gun has two rounds I was afraid to let go and run. I had the butt of the gun and the barrel was under Matt’s arm so I knew I could shoot the last round into the yard and not harm him. I then took off running to my neighbor’s house for help. Matt locked himself in the house, where he began a seven hour standoff with the SWATT team. A domestic disturbance officer had taken me to the Winn Dixie parking lot to assess the wounds I had received from running barefoot down the gravel driveway to the neighbor’s house. During the next seven hours I was able to hear everything over the police radio. Matt was in our yard with the shot gun to his head arguing with his dad while his dad pleaded and begged for him to put the gun down. At 7:00a June 15 Matt went back into our house to end it all and that’s when we heard the shot. I just knew I’d lost him, but God told Matt no; the shot was the SWATT team shooting tear gas into our kitchen window. Matt came out and surrendered.

 The next time I saw Matt was in the visiting cell at the prison. Matt was devastated about everything that had happened and he knew that he was in big trouble and possibly facing serious jail time. I was horrified at the sight of him in that orange prison jumpsuit and although I was emotionally drained and was there to tell him it was over, I felt so sorry for him and I wanted to fix everything. As we sat in our darkest moment God sent us a messenger...Brother Bob. Brother Bob counseled us and prayed with us. He told us we would be okay (I kept thinking, “...uh hello, did you not hear what he just did to me”)...but I knew we would. Though I still didn’t know God was telling me it would be okay. Brother Bob’s words were what we needed to hear and from that moment Matt re-committed himself to Christ and we committed to rebuild our marriage. Matt sat in jail and prayed to God to take every desire, want, need and taste of drugs and alcohol away from him because he couldn’t do it, he knew then only God could. And God did.

 Through hindsight I can see the hand of God in our lives, guiding us through some very difficult times and using our worst nightmare for His glory! Most importantly, by marrying Matt I married into a loving family. David & Judy have been parents to me as well, and their loving example has helped me in more ways than I can say. I thank God everyday for them in my life. I later learned that Judy had been earnestly praying that all her boys (Russ, Eric & Matt) would return to Christ and to church. Matt’s arrest and court appearances brought the family to their knees in prayer, and Judy’s prayers for her boys were answered. The whole family came back to church and to Christ. Jordan accepted Christ when she was seven but during the most recent Tony Nolan crusade at our church she and I both rededicated our lives to Christ.

Through our ordeal, we discovered the love of our church family at Bayside, especially in our Sunday School class and through our SS teachers Steve & Colleen. Without Steve & Colleen, I’m not sure we would have stayed in SS. Due to Matt’s faithfulness to the Sunday school class in 2004 they elected him class president and he still is today. Matt’s complete turn around was instrumental in the Judge granting his release from his probation officer in May 2004.

 In addition to God blessing our lives and marriage, he has blessed our jobs. For the past eight years I have worked as the Assistant to the Vice President at the Chattanooga Times Free Press. I love my job and the people I work for and with; I am very blessed. In August 2002, Matt again put his whole faith and trust in our Lord and started his own excavating business. Living by faith has also taught me to trust God to handle our finances and God has blessed us more than we could have ever imagined.

 Most importantly, God has blessed us through our children, Jordan and Lilli-Faith. Jordan just grows more beautiful everyday and what a blessing it is to watch her become a young lady in Christ. Lilli-Faith, what a precious blessing she is because we didn’t deserve her, but He gave her to us anyway. Every good and perfect gift is from above...James 1:17; that’s what our girls are to us.

 On June 2, 2007 Matt and I celebrated our 12 year anniversary and on June 15 we celebrated Matt’s eighth year of sobriety. God is so good!

 Please don’t mistake anything I’ve said, I would never advise anyone (man or woman) to stay in an abusive situation; I don’t believe God wants that for us. Yet, I am so thankful that God helped Matt and I find healing for our marriage. God can change anyone who wants it. Matt and I still have issues to work on in our marriage, but I think those issues are similar to what any Christian couple might face. With God’s help, we will continue to grow together and serve together. Matt and I want to use our story to help others discover Christ’s healing powers.

 Isn’t God great, that He can make all things work for His good. (Romans 8:28)

Gina McDaniel - TN

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